A delicious lunch is elephant shaped.

You’re hungry. I can tell these things, it’s a gift. At this moment, I can tell that there’s a pang of hunger building up, deep within your very core. What do you do? Where are you at this very moment? The decision of what to eat is a serious one. We only have so many meals during our fleeting lives. Some of those meals we’d rather forget – The low-cost-airline-35,000 feet-cardboard-breakfast-burrito. I mean seriously, what was I thinking? I actually felt dirty during and after I had consumed it. I’m pretty sure the flight attendant mouthed “you son of a bitch” as she handed it to me. My hands are trembling as I type, brows clammy and heart-racing. In fact, this post might just be an excuse to exorcise my inner eaty demon. Mealtimes must count.  So, let me help you out…

You’re in Torquay, the English Riviera. It’s midweek and you are looking for somewhere to eat. It happens that you’re more aware of your mortality and therefore feel the need to make these precious moments count – this include the cash you spend on *scran (noun -food “we canny go out on an empty belly—any chance of some scran?”) What do you do? Where can you go? I’ll tell you where. The Elephant, Torquay.

Proprietor and Chef Simon Hulstone along with his wife, Katy, have steered this mighty beast along a path of deliciousness that earned them Torquay’s first Michelin star in 2006. An accolade that they still hold today. Simon is a man, a bearded man and a man that has battled chefs in various prestigious competitions, winning many of them. He’s a culinary heavyweight with a thing for food and local produce. In fact, he also rears some of his own livestock.

Now, Michelin stars can sometimes make eager eaters think that restaurants with this award are for special occasions only.  But many are priced just as reasonably as your local pub! And deserve to be supported in much the same way.  Now, you can pay £14 for pie (and I do love a pie), mash and ‘seasonal veg’ (why is it that ‘seasonal veg” or ‘veg of the day’ nearly always contains mangetout or sugar snap peas?) and be underwhelmed. Or you could check out the set lunch Menu at The Elephant.

So we did, and it was mutha-flipping delicious!

Thats right, £16.50 for two courses! We ordered it all and shared like greedy seagulls.

Everyone, I’d like you to meet the Brixham crab beignets. Light as a unicorns eyelash, sweet, crispy and extremely moorish. I’d like to lie in bed and be fed these like a zoo keeper would sea lion. Just toss ’em at me, I’ll catch them in my mouth and clap after each chomp.

River Test rainbow trout – with deep salty sweet cure, peppered with caviar that both seasons and surprises. We shared this the way inmates share yard time in an American prison drama.

The mighty Brixham hake – tasted of the sea, and sat in buttery, sweet, saline sauce that eased worries away and provided comfort for your soul.

Crispy lamb croquette. Let’s say that again, crispy lamb croquette. Deep and rich with whispers of middle eastern spices. Delicious.

Cheesy, buttery, world-righting, conflict stopping, potatoes dauphinoise. Ahhhhhh yeahhhh,

We matched our wonderful lunch with a local wine. A mighty glass of Sandbar from Lyme Bay Wines – lip smackingly good stuff.

As always I think that the only way to believe me, to understand my ramblings, is to book a table and try it for yourself. We set ourselves a budget and what we had surpassed our expectations (even though we knew Simon has some badass skills and fantastic reputation). Take advantage of this incredible offer. This is spending your money and food memories wisely. For we know not how many meals we have left?

Here’s the link again, book it.



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